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Yousef Hani

They say one man can't make a difference, well...I believe I can!
May 19

I Never Meant To Hurt You

I Never Meant To Hurt You

 

I don’t know why can’t I get you out of my head lately?! I think of you a lot –and I mean a lot- many questions come to my mind like; where are you?! How are you?! Are you happy?! Is life treating you well?! So many questions just keep floating in my head searching for answers, and the most intriguing question that’s following me night and day is; how it went so wrong?! How did we let things slip from our hands like this?!

I keep going back to figure out that moment, that key moment that lead to all this mess, I keep running all possible scenarios through my head searching for a way out, I go to sleep everyday hoping to wake up in an alternate reality where none of this happened, where we all are still friends… Sitting, talking and laughing like we always do!! But when I wake up I realize that this is reality and that the bond of our friendship has already collapsed and will never be mended again.

I don’t know why am I writing this now!! May be I’m feeling guilty!! May be I just miss you!! I don’t really know!! But am I responsible for what happened to us??!! Of course I’m!! And so are you and so is everyone involved in this mess, we all contributed in this fire somehow, we all kept blowing in the fire till it reached the sky and burned everything within reach, burning away our friendship, our moments, our memories & our bond.

It was a test, a tough one and unfortunately we all failed in it.

 

I know that I’m no angel, but I swear… I never meant to hurt you.

                                                           

                                                                       Yousef Hani

                                                                      10/5/07

November 22

Life Will Go On

Life Will Go On

 

Sometimes you feel that you are having a day that will never end, as if it holds within much more than the 24 hours, in such days you keep looking to the watch and wonder whether it's moving slower than usual!! Whether the minute is no longer 60 seconds!! Sometimes you face a day full of problems and troubles and as soon as you get through one of them you get hit by another, only then you realize the real meaning of the quote that says "Troubles come in threes"!! 

You start looking to the clock on the wall and keep watching the seconds go by; you are starring at the clock as if you are desperately begging it to go faster... But it doesn't!!

Sometimes you face a day where it feels like everything is standing against you; weather, traffic or even luck!! You might miss the bus or the train or may be it just starts raining as soon as you decide to go out!! Or may be it gets more serious than that; get cheated upon, stabbed in the back, or may be even worse than that; lose your job, lose a friend or even lose a family member!!

Or may be you just face a state of depression where you can't find a reason to get up from bed in the morning, you can't find anything that makes you continue through the day, you feel as if everything is just falling apart around you, nothing is going right and everything is a mess!! You want to do something but you don't know what or how or even when!! You want to change somehow but you don't know where to start!! You start feeling confused, confused about everything, even your own existence!!

Taking into consideration all your pains and sorrows, you keep wondering; how many more you can take and you keep asking yourself; will such day ever going to end?!...

 

Eventually it will!! You might feel helpless and hopeless but you must have faith that this day will eventually end and tomorrow will definitely be a new day, a new start... A new beginning, a reason for living!! You must have faith that no matter what happened today there will always be tomorrow, you must have faith that life will never stop... Life Will Go On.

 

Yousef Hani

22/11/2006

 

 

 

 

October 21

I No Longer Care

I No Longer Care 

 

There were times when we were like best friends or even more, there were times when we thought that what we have is rare and that it will last forever, and there were times when we thought we will always be there for each other… But we were wrong!!

I never thought a day like this will come and it will take me about an hour just to remember how you look like!! I never thought we will reach the phase of indifference where it won't even matter knowing that we might never see each other again or even hear the voices of each other again!!

I never thought a day will come and I won't care whether you are fine or not, whether you are happy or sad, and whether life is treating you good or giving you more than you can handle!!

I don't know how we got so far in this short period of time; I don't know how it all fell apart and I don't know how we reached this point of no return and who's mistake is it?!

All I know now is that what we had was never meant to stay forever, it was just meant to be a memory. The truth is that there's no room for you in my heart anymore!!

 

I never thought I'll ever say this, but the truth is… I no longer care!!!!

 

Yousef Hani

21-10-2006

 

September 08

I Wish I Could Be Yours,,,

I Wish I Could Be Yours

 

That was the last letter she left on my door!!

 

I love you!! I love you for the man you are, for the man you want to be, I love you for being strong even when you feel so weak, for standing up and say No while others just sit and watch, for trying to change the world even though you can't, for never giving up even when it seems like there's no hope, for saying that tomorrow is always a new day and that tomorrow will be much better than today even if it turned to be much worse!! 

I love you!! I love you for the stubborn man you are, and for the intelligence that you have, for the confidence that you show, for the caring that you give, and for the faith that you possess, I love you for being so open minded, I love you for the passion that you have and the compassion that you give!!

I love you!! I love you for being so realistic and yet so romantic, for being so strong and yet so sensitive, for being so bold and yet so shy, for being so independent and yet so lovable, for being the one who solves everyone's problems and yet need someone's help to solve his!! I love you for being the one that everyone trusts, for being the one trusted for everyone's secrets and yet never show that you know everything!!

 

I wish I could be your eyes so that you can see the world through me, I wish I could be your tears that you keep for yourself and never show to anyone, I wish I could be the words that you use to express your emotions, I wish I could be the pen that you use to write your poetry or even be the paper that you use to write on!!

 

I wish!! I wish… I wish I could be yours!!!! 

                                                                      Yousef Hani

                                                                      8-9-2006

 

August 21

Coming Back From Hell

Coming Back From Hell

 

With the Israeli attack on Lebanon getting complicated and destructive everyday, children are the worst victims under the present circumstance. The attack was launched against the Hezbollah militia but the victims of war are none other than the Lebanese Children.

Almost one third of the Lebanese who have lost their lives are children. What is wrong with the international organizations? This barbaric massacre is a violation against human rights and international laws.

Instead of an armed conflict, the Israel-Lebanon war has become a war of the children. The Israeli children are leaving missiles with their taunting message, which is a direct slap on the face of humanity and the elder generation.

The messages send by the Israeli kids read:

Dear Lebanese/Palestinian/Arab/Muslim/Christians - Kids,
Die with love.
Yours,
Israeli Kids

 

 

 

Key Statistics on the Israeli-Lebanon conflict

 

The Mounting Toll of the Israel-Lebanon conflict since 12th July 2006

Last updated: 18th August

 

Lebanese deaths: 1,200 (45% children, estimated 100 Hezbollah fighters)

(Please note that this is only an estimate. Humanitarian groups are still having difficulty reaching many areas and clearing away rubble from attacks. Therefore it is still difficult to assess the exact number of casualties).

Lebanese injuries: 3,680

Lebanese displaced: 971,361 (16,000 Palestinian refugees)

565, 000 displaced people are living with relatives or friends

130, 762 displaced people have found shelter in 834 schools and public institutions

220,000 displaced people have sought refugee in neighbouring countries (180,000 to Syria)

(Government of Lebanon Higher Relief Council Report).

 

UN personnel killed or injured by Israeli attacks: 5 killed, 7 injured

 

Damage to Lebanese infrastructure: estimated at 2 billion USD in damage

 

  • Number of private homes or apartments destroyed: 6,900
  • Roads Destroyed: 630 kilometres of road
  • Number of bridges destroyed: 73
  • 29 essential installations have been destroyed including the Beirut Airport, ports, water, sewage treatment plants, and power plants
  • Large numbers of petrol stations and fuel storage facilities targeted
  • Hundred of factories, commercial facilities destroyed

Water and Sanitation:

3, 340 families concentrated in conflict zones- Saida, Zahle, and Baalbek- have received hygiene kits.

Additional hygiene kits are distributed through NGO’s such as Mercy Malaysia, and IOCC Lebanon that provide aid for civilians in northern areas of Lebanon and Beirut suburbs.

 

Environment:

  • 140 kilometres (87 miles) of the Lebanese coast has been polluted from last month’s electric plant bombing. Nearly 15,000 tons of oil leaked from the Jiyyeh electric plant after it was bombed by Israel. (United Nations Environment Programme)

Shelter and Food:

The UNHCR has provided for 25, 000 displaced people in Lebanon and Syria by delivering 730 metric tons of non food items (NFI’s) in order to replenish stocks in Lebanon and Syria. 116 tons of NFI’s were flown into Beirut on August 11th. In addition to that figure, 71 tons consisting of emergency supplies such as tents, mattresses, jerry cans, cooking stoves and hurricane lanterns were flown to Beirut from Amman. 8,400 mattresses, 30,000 blankets, 15,000 jerry cans, 1,00 plastic rolls, 3,000 kitchen sets and five delivery trucks left ports from Mrseilles and Mersin for Lebanon on August 11th.

 

Israeli deaths: 53 civilian; 114 military

Israeli injuries: 1900

Damage to Israeli infrastructure:

 

    • number of bridges, roads destroyed: 0
    • train stations hit: 1
    • military ships hit: 1
    severe damage to numerous residential buildings in Northern Israel

 

Israel entered a war that she can't win & seizing fire saved Israel from a humiliating defeat & saved Lebanon from having more dead kids!!

 

Coming back from such war is like coming back from hell, and the question here is; if you went to hell and managed to leave, will you be willing to go back again??!!

 

 

July 25

A Process of Elimination...

A Process of Elimination

 

What's happening now in Lebanon can NOT be described as a war!! Because the definition of war according to Webster is; armed conflict between nations or factions within a nation or a particular armed conflict consisting of a series of battles or campaigns and all this definitions do not describe the situation in Lebanon because what's happening in Lebanon can be only described as a MASSACRE or a PROCESS of ELIMINATION!!

 

The -so called- president of the United States gave Israel the green light not to defend itself but to do whatever they want and the rest of the western countries are just watching!!

 

And I don't blame the west for that because that's typical!! That's what they do & that's what they will always do, I don't expect otherwise!!

 

 

 

 

The solution is not in the west, the solution lies within!! The solution is here, in the Arab world!! If the Arab countries unite just for once Israel won't dare to make a single move towards any Arab country in the Area & if they did then history will repeat itself & they will remember what happened to them in 1956 & in 1973!!

 

What's happening now is an Israeli Holocaust against the Palestinians & the Lebanese people! Can someone please remind me and tell me who is responsible for the assassination of 20 000 civilian in Beirut in 1982, the responsible for such a horrible and immoral act is the former prime minister of Israel “Ariel Sharon”, 20000 innocent people can you believe this?! And not only this but also the massacre of Genin on April 2002 and what happened in 1948, and I mean the massacre at Deir Yassin, and also what happened in 1994 and I mean the murder of forty Palestinian worshipers by Baruch Goldstein at a mosque in Hebron all this has to stop even though it isn’t surprising me no more because “Those with more power are often able to ignore moral considerations.

 

Unfortunately all I see now is “The strong do what they have the power to do and the weak accepts what they have to accept”.

 

God save us all,,,

 

Watch & judge!!

 

http://rapidshare.de/files/26981367/Elimination.rar.html

 

 

July 03

I'm Letting You Go

I'm Letting You Go

 

Forgiveness!! Is it really possible?! Does the word even exist?! It all depends on the willingness to forgive!! And even if I did forgive you, do you really think I'll ever forget what you have done to me?! All the things you have said & all the pain you have caused!!

 

If you asked for forgiveness, do you really think I'll be willing to offer it?! You want to tell me that you are sorry but you don't even know the meaning of the word!! You are sorry for what?! Leaving me when I needed you the most?! Stabbing me in the back when I was lost?!

 

And you think you can still have me, that we can still work things out & that you didn't lose me yet!! You are wrong!! You lost me, you lost me long time ago, you lost me the day you walked out of my life, the day you betrayed me & betrayed my trust!!

 

When the going got tough you disappeared, left me to face the rain all by myself!! As if you were waiting for me to fall apart!! Well guess what; I didn't!!

 

And now after all what you have said & done, after all the pain you caused I forgive you BUT… I'm letting you go!!

 

 

Yousef Hani

3-7-2006

 

 

 

June 14

How Can I Forget You?!

How Can I Forget You?!

 

I tried so many times

And realized one thing for sure

That every time I try to forget you

It ends by loving you more

 

You hold the key

To the only lock I own

And your love is,

The only love I’ve ever known

 

The pain you caused

Won’t disappear

And the wounds I have

May never heal

 

I gave up,

But giving up doesn’t mean I’m weak, if you just know

“It only means that I’m strong enough to let go”

 

“How can I forget you?

When you are always in my mind

How can I not want you?

When you are all I want inside”

 

 

   Written in 1-12-2004 &

 Rewritten in 29-6-2005

    Yousef Hani

 

April 28

Have You Ever

Have You Ever

 

Have you ever;

 Kept inside of you a secret that no one knows?

Had an area in your heart where no one could come close?

 

Have you ever;

Found your self lost in the crowd?

Felt that the silence sounds so loud?

 

Have you ever;

Opened your eyes to see no one there?

Needed someone but found that no one cares

 

Have you ever;

Felt that you lost everything you had?

Felt that no one around you understands?

 

Have you ever;

Felt you are drowning & the shore is just getting farther?

 

 

Have you ever??!!

 

Yousef Hani

28-4-2006

 

 

 

April 05

Enough is Enough

 

Enough is Enough


I was reading the news paper & I found this title; George W. Bush says; Backing democracy doesn't mean approving on all the elected governments!! And I was like; WHAT?! What the hell do you want from us?! He kept saying; We are fighting for democracy, for freedom & we will never stop!! And when I think about it, the only true thing in this sentence is never stop!!


He lead a war on Afghanistan to find Osama Bin Laden & he never did, & then he lead a war on Iraq to find Nuclear missiles, which he didn't find!! And God knows who's next!!


The blind man can see that Bush doesn't give a damn about democracy nor freedom, but he cares about oil of course because that's what matters after all!! He gave a huge speech about freedom and about democracy & that there must be elections in Palestine & all that nonsense considering they don't have a land to have anything else!! Anyway, as usual they did what he wants, they made elections & after Hamas won he said; Backing democracy doesn't mean approving on all the elected governments!! Give us a break man!!

 

And if he's what he says a freedom fighter, then why didn't he lead a war against that king who announced to his people that he will be treated as a God in his country somewhere in Africa, why didn't he go there & save this country & apply democracy!! I'll tell you why because there's no oil there then why bother!!

Like I said he doesn't give a damn about democracy nor freedom, he only wants to reshape the middle east on the American way which is UNACCEPTABLE, we have different cultures, different views & different religions. He wants to separate religion from politics, well, that can be done in the west but not here because at the end of the day we are religious people.

 

I still can't believe that this man was reelected!! Have you ever seen him talking?! I have a very small speech for him where he says; “They want us to leave, that what they want us to do & I think that the world will be better if we did leave, if we did... if we didn't... if we dididi...if we... if we... if we left the world would be worse”, and you can see & hear the people laughing of course!! And I have the link if anyone wants it!!

 

Aren't we living in a civilized world or what?! But like they say; “You can't say civilization don't advance...In every war they kill you in a new way!!”

 

I just wish to see someone strong enough to stand up & say NO, say ENOUGH is ENOUGH!! The only country that succeeded in doing that so far is Iran!! Of course Iran isn't perfect but neither the USA of course!! But at least they had the guts to say NO, to say ENOUGH is ENOUGH!!



Yousef Hani

4-4-2006


March 18

Silence...

 

Silence


I was walking the streets going no where till I saw her; Is that really her?!

No way!! Is it possible?! Is it possible that my only wish could come true?!

She saw me, she's smiling, it's her!! No one else on earth has this heavenly smile!!

And we started talking;


I never thought I'll see you again!

Neither did I!!

Is this fate or what?!

I don't know!!


I miss you.

Me too.

May be it's meant to be!!

I'm kinda confused!!

Yes, me too!!


I got to go!

Don't, I can't let you go, not again!

You don't understand!

There's nothing to understand, I want you!

I can't, I just can't!!

Why?! It's a once in a life time opportunity!

You don't understand!


Why are you running away?!

What's going on?!


And a tear slipped from her eyes,

She moves her hand to wipe the tear before I notice!!

Only then I noticed!!


Oh my God!! Is this an engagement ring?!

It seems like my only wish won't come true after all!!

She starts crying & just ran away!!


And silence took over!!



Yousef Hani

18-3-2006

 

March 02

And We Walk

And We Walk


Years have gone by,

And now we meet again!

You look so beautiful,

Like a wild rose in the rain!


It has been a long time

Since we last met!

It was a hell of a day,

That I just can't forget!


It took me one look

At your beautiful eyes

One look to realize,

That love never dies!


I'm trying to leave,

But your eyes are begging me to stay

I go in the opposite direction

But I find my self going your way!!


It took me a decade to build a wall

Between you and my heart

And it took your eyes a second

To turn this wall apart!!


You smiled, I smiled,

And no talk

You put your hands in mine,

And we walk!!



Yousef Hani

2-3-2006

 

February 25

The Only Solution!!

 

The Only Solution!!


I tried to tell you so many times, but you just kept ignoring the facts, ignoring the signs! I treated you good, I treated you bad, I even stopped treating you at all, but in the end it all lead to the same result!! I confronted you more than once, telling you that I have no feelings for you, that all I can offer is my friendship, but you wanted more, you demanded more!!


You always used to come to me whenever you needed someone to talk to, whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on, whenever you needed advice, and I was there for you all the time trying to help as much as I can, but you wanted more, you demanded more!!


I never used you even though I got the chance to do it so many times, I never lied to you even though I knew that the truth will hurt, all I was trying to do is to give you no hope so that you won't get attached to a mirage, a dream, a fairy tale that you invented in your mind!


I tried so hard to tell you that I'm not the one for you, that I'm not the one you are looking for, but you just never listened, you just kept holding on to that dream till you had to see this fairy tale collapse, till you had to watch it die in front of your eyes!!


And after all what was said and done you chose departure but before leaving you ended up making me the heart breaker, the cheater, the devil himself!! Well if that's what it takes, then that's what I am!! The heart breaker, the cheater, the devil himself!! The mistake I did was that I tried too hard instead of just leaving!! I know that you will miss me and I'll miss you too ofcourse, But believe me when I say; this is the best solution, in fact... The only solution!!

 

Yousef Hani

24-2-2006

 

February 14

Valentine’s Day...

Valentines Day

 

Rise and shine, wake up a new day has come

What day is it, I asked?

The 14th of February, it’s the Valentine’s Day

Really

Yes, so what are you planning to do today?!

I’ll go to the girl I love and tell her

“I love you, will you marry me”

She will say yes while crying those happy tears.

Then we will get married

Few years later, we are living in a small hut by the sea

We have two children, a boy and a girl

The boy is so funny; he can make you cry from laughing

And the girl, oohh about the girl; she’s so beautiful

“She can soothe the wildest beast with her smile”

We sit and watch the sunset everyday

The sun is vanishing in to the sea as if it’s drowning

The kids are playing with the sand

They are building a castle or may be a fort

And the waves come and wipe it all

The light is slowly fading down

The darkness of the night is taking over

We sit to watch the moon

The kids fell asleep while we are singing the lullaby

And then we all live together happily ever after

At last I feel my life is worth living?!

 

Rise and shine, wake up a new day has come

What day is it, I asked?

The 15th of February, why do you ask?!

Nothing…I was just being sure!!

 

P.S: I didn't write anything today so I decided to republish what I wrote last year, I guess I just love it!!

 

Yousef Hani

14-2-2005

 

 

February 10

And The ACN 2006 goes to Egypt...

 

And The ACN 2006 goes to Egypt

 


 

What a day, what a thrill, what a feeling!! We did it, we won the African cup of nations 2006, we demanded it, we deserved it, & we won it.

 

 
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